A Troubled Marriage Doesn't Have To Fail

Law Blog

There are a lot of reasons why couples get divorced. Divorce lawyers hear it all, yet most agree that a couple needs to clearly identify their problems before heading off to divorce court. Divorce doesn't always have to be the final solution. Many troubled marriages can be saved with work, but it helps to understand what makes a good marriage.

Choose your battles wisely. Don't let the little things turn into major conflicts. Some things just aren't worth fighting about. If you make an issue over even small matters, your partner may feel like you're constantly nagging or criticizing.

That doesn't mean you won't ever disagree. The problem is disagreements often take the form of arguments. Accept that sometimes the two of you are going to have differing opinions, but that you each have the right to express how you feel.

Avoid letting things fester, yet don't bring up unrelated issues at the same time. Trying to tackle multiple troubles at once can make it more difficult to resolve the most pressing problem at hand.

Work toward arriving at a compromise instead of insisting you are right. The unwillingness to compromise may be a sign of your inability to communicate to each other. When you can't communicate, the trust between you breaks down. If you are unable to arrive at effective solutions together, you could end up with even more problems.

Be open about finances. Couples often fight about money problems. Resentment can develop if one partner is the primary wage earner who manages all the money matters. Share in the responsibility. Look at where your income goes and then take steps to reduce the financial stresses in your life.

When the lack of money isn't the problem, materialism is often to blame. Differences in money values can also put a blotch on marital bliss.

This is another area where compromise can save the day. For example, if you prefer to save money, but your spouse likes to spend it, you can still work together toward common goals. Let your spouse be the partner responsible for everyday spending and the monthly household budget while you use your financial savvy to save for retirement and other long-term goals.

Be kind to one another. Don't underestimate the value of using terms of endearment. Everyone -- including your spouse -- wants to be treated with kindness. A valuable component of any successful relationship, kindness helps reduce frustrations and build trust. It can also lead to forgiveness.

Don't dwell on past grievances. Instead, move forward by focusing on the positive. Building and maintaining a positive relationship involves being loving, caring, encouraging, and supportive toward one another.

Find time to be alone together. This can be hard if you both work outside the home and have children, but relationships generally don't work unless both partners keep working at it. Make your marriage a priority in your life.

Passion is a key ingredient in couple relationships. Once the excitement begins to wane, your interest in one another may disappear with it. Lawyers say one partner often complains that the other has become inattentive and unresponsive to the individual's needs.

If you do decide to go forward with a divorce, contact J. Leigh Daboll Law Office or a similar firm.


9 January 2015